ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I understand Curling. That high.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
