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but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
