talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
