I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
