So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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