this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
