I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
