making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
