Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
