I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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