im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I need a burrito and a hug.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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