Banned from zoo.
Again?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize