He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Couch. On fire.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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