My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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