I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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