I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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