I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize