fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
