I'd wear matching sweaters with you
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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