so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm sobbing to NWA
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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