so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You were trust falling into bushes
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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