i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
As shirtless as possible
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
