If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
