just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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