Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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