i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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