i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
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i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
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The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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