woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Randomize