I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
