Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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