Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
