Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My vagina just clenched in fear
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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