Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
