im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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