Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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