Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize