yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
