Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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