I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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