he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
