Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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