people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
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I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
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Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
this hospital has no fireball
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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