I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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