Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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