I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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