and she was petting her beer can
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
