EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I am available for nakedness
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
