lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
