I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
