there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
