how can u be prego again
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
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Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
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My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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