Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize