I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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